I WILL NOT BUCKLE

I did not like him. To introduce him to my friends was an absolute 'no -no'. Since we were brothers , I was invariably compared to him in some way or the other. But I could not fathom how people compared me with him. ''I'' who was so stylish , rich and polished was compared to a person for whom these qualities were alien. People must be out of their minds. I was surprised when he, my elder brother , Varun  expressed his desire to visit me. I thought he must need something from me.
When I reached the Railway Station , train had just arrived. The halt was very short. I saw him getting down , vigorously waving. We shook hands but I immediately snatched mine away. The railway platform was jam packed. I moved along with the wave of people.
Suddenly, I too was pushed against the side of the train. I just could not breathe.
I saw a train pass. What was happening ? I realized I had fallen down. I wanted to get up. How humiliating to fall in front of so many people. My back was resting against the platform and my legs were on the rail tracks. I wanted to move my legs but couldn't . The next thing I saw that my legs were lying at a distance away from my body.
We were in a car. I protested,'' Oh ! What was happening around me ? '' I was feeling scared. I curled my fingers around my brother's mighty palms and held him with all the strength I could muster and in his same characteristic style which I so much disliked , he roared , '' He had held my hand tightly! He is still alive. ''
Was I dead ? I must have been hallucinating .
Varun put his palms on my chest and started pushing me up and down , shouting '' I will kill you if you give in. Fight , don't give up! You are like me my brother , fighter to the core. Breathe , breathe hard ''. I followed his commands almost like I used to do when he was standing outside the boxing ring and exhort me to get up and fight once again.
I felt severe pain in my legs and cried out. I could hear some voices , some crying and some praying. I could hear so many voices telling me to do different things. I don't know why my wife Geetika was crying but she kept on asking Varun to instruct me further. I decided I will only listen to my brother's voice.
I am in my full senses now. Varun is sitting quietly , holding my hand. I was told that three months have passed since the accident occurred. I was declared 'brought in dead ' but the doctors kept trying to revive me because my brother refused to give up and wouldn't  let them go. It was almost an hour when I started breathing. Doctors thought I would become a vegetable because my brain was without oxygen for one full hour. Varun proved them wrong again. I responded to his voice. I was proud of him for being so authoritative. They also told me that Varun did not go home or move away from my side as I would not let go of his hand.
It took me another four months to learn to walk on my artificial legs.
Varun left today. Geetika and I went to bid good bye to him. He shook my hand ,'' You are a good fighter , I am proud of you. '' I smiled. My heart was too full to say anything to him. 'I love you for teaching me to keep faith'' Geetika said . He boarded the train and waved till we could see him no more.
For the first time I realised that I couldn't have given him anything. He had it all and perhaps I wouldn't have been who I am today had he not taught me to face trouble fairly and squarely , and not buckle.