Caste No Bar

21st February 1987

Dear Diary,

3.00 A.M.

We again fought over the same issue. Marriage! Why is it such a big deal for him? Why he is so afraid of his parents?

I again asked him to convince his parents about us but he snubbed the conversation by saying - It is not the right time. Really! It has been 6 years and even now, he is waiting for the right time?

Out of anger, I shouted at him and disconnected the call. And you know what? He called me after 2 long hours.
As I received the call, tears rolled down my cheeks symbolizing the solace which I found in his voice. He said “I want to meet you. I want to talk about our future”. My eyes glittered up broadening the smile on my face. I said “Yes”.

Diary, I want to look the best tomorrow. Finally, we will talk about our marriage.  I will wear the same violet dress which he gifted me and will doll up myself with matching bijouterie and footwear.

I think, we will be finally engage.

Lots of Love
Sneha...

21st January 1987

Dear Diary,

At 10.00 A.M.

I am feeling so excited. Hope everything goes good. You know what, I have bought him beautiful flowers and chocolates. Hope he likes them.

We will talk in evening.

Bye...

 8.00 P.M.

Anxiety filled my heart as he entered the restaurant. He was wearing a blue shirt with black jeans. He looked personable. I walked up to him, settling my dress and gave him the gifts I bought. He did not mention Thank you. I gazed at him like a baby and dreamt of a perfect proposal.

But, my dream broke by his words “we should break-up”. Perplexed by his statement I asked him, why? He continued, snubbing my tears “we belong to two different worlds. We belong to two different religions. Society won’t accept us because you are a Hindu and I am Muslim”.

I felt numb. He left leaving me, my love and my gifts behind. Didn’t he know that I am a Hindu when we met 6 years ago? Didn’t he Know, I would die without him? Didn’t he know that I love him like hell?

I waited him to turn back. I waited him to come and wipe my tears. I waited him to say what he said was a prank. I waited for his one last glance. But he did not turn. May be he did not care anymore or maybe he did not have courage to face me. The reason has left me broken- he left me because I was born to a Hindu family.

Now, we are apart forever. It is over.

But, I love him. I love him a lot.

Bye...

Sneha

~~
Tears rolled down to my cheeks as I closed my mom’s diary. I looked at her with respect, love. She wiped my tears and suggested me not to cry on my wedding.

I asked her why she made me read her diary on my wedding day. She kissed my forehead and said because best friend don’t hide anything.

Then, out of the curiosity, I asked her why she agreed for my marriage to Asad when she herself had such a bad experience.

She looked into my eyes and said because “Asad loves you enough to fight the whole world just to have you. Caste is no bar for those in love, all you need is the allegiance to have each other. I know, Asad will keep you happy.”

That day I realized “Caste is an illusion created by society. May be that boy loved my mom but not enough, to fight the whole world just to have her”.


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The Indelible nib- It is not just a blog but a diary of untold stories. We believe everyone of us has a story to tell and it must be put in words. If you have such stories, please mail us at prerikakanchan@gmail.com.

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