Little did I know

This article is dedicated to Aruna Shanbaug:

I came to Mumbai, the city of dreams, 42 years ago to endeavor my life and achieve my dreams but little did I know was soon, very soon, I will become the national sensation, A rape victim. Believe me, this was not what I wanted.

All I wanted was to cure the uncured, feed the hungry and to hear the twinkling sound of a newborn baby. I wanted to be remembered by my patients in their prayers but little did I know was, the candles will be lit in my name, as a Rape Victim.

I lived for 66 years but spend an era of my life almost dead for 42 years. Yes, almost dead or almost lived, because for me it was the same, in a vegetative state. I knew life was tough and I would too get sick but little did I knew was, I will be bedridden for almost 42 years and won’t even get the chance to get up and walk again.

He raped me in a basement room of the hospital, where i wove my dreams. He shook my soul and my body from head to toe around the walls of the silent room. He strangled me with a dog chain and dragged me to hell, leaving my body almost alive and my soul dead. I knew he won’t spare me any mercy but little did I know was that I won’t be able to fight back.

My would- be-husband cried seeing me lying numb, bedridden. He even kept meeting me for years, as I was his love. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I needed him. I knew it hurts him a lot to see me like this. I knew he will love me till his death but little did I know was, soon he would move on and get married and I won’t see him any longer.

The people moved, patients and nurses changed, anything remained constant was me, in the same bed. I could see nurses feeding me and providing me endless care but I never wanted to be the one who needed someone to feed her. I knew, I was in critical condition but little did I know was that I would never able to get cure and die in such a bizarre manner.

I heard that monster has been detained and had been jailed for what he did to me. The court did not punish him with death because I was still alive. Alive, really alive, they said. I wish I could tell them what it felt to be alive like that. I knew he would be punished but little did I know was I have been born in a country where justice is rare and unseen.

Today, when I die in the eyes of the world, I feel free from the pain which I endured for 42 years. I will live in the other world, if it exists. I will ask why this happened to me to god, if there is one. I knew I'll be dead one day but little did I know was I will wait for it day and night throughout my life.

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